Check Out the Ball on this Aussie

Ben

via BBC News

An amateur surgeon in Australia has pleaded guilty to removing the left testicle of a man who could not afford professional medical treatment.
Allan George Matthews, 56, admitted to “removing tissue” from the man “without consent or authority” at a motel in Port Macquarie, north of Sydney.
Police said the 52-year-old victim posted an online ad “requesting assistance with a medical issue”.
He had been suffering for years after being kicked in the groin by a horse.
Police became aware of the case in June when the man attended hospital after the wound he suffered during the operation became infected.
Officers raided Matthews’ home and seized medical equipment, firearms and four bottles of what they suspected to be amyl nitrate.
Prosecutors alleged that Matthews was not authorised to perform such a procedure as he was not a qualified or registered medical practitioner.
He also pleaded guilty in court this week to illegally possessing a gun and two counts of possessing or attempting to prescribe a restricted substance.

Nothing like sipping on some fresh brewed morning Joe and reading a story about an amateur ball removing happening in Australia. AmIRight? Both of these guys are absolutely nuts! (a thank you) Aussie’s are the most bad ass people on the planet. It’s like horses without fences down there, and apparently those horses will kick you in the family jewels as soon as they get the opportunity. If an American got kicked in the dick by a horse…we’d probably kill the damn animal and then have every facebook mom in the world debate with euthanizing animals when they kick humans’s asses is morally acceptable. Not in Australia. That guy who got his nut busted probably was like “Right mate, good show, Fosters!” and then rode the horse into town and bought it a beer, got drunk, posted a craigslist ad asking someone to remove his bruised berry, went behind the bar and got it done, and then went on with life. Both the uniballer and the sideshow doctor just skyrocketed into the top of my favorite Australians. It goes:

  1. Margot Robbie
  2. Matthew Dellavedova
  3. Guy Who Got His Nuts Kicked Off By A Horse
  4. Jim Jefferies
  5. Hugh Jackman
  6. Doctor Who Removed The Ball of the Guy Who Got His Nuts Kicked Off By A Horse
  7. Heath Ledger (RIP)
  8. Portia De Rossi
  9. Rose Byrne
  10. Lleyton Hewitt

Crocodile Dundee, Steve Irwin, Chris Hemsworth, Russell Crowe…all took a hit because of how badass this story is. Guarentee wherever the number 3 coolest Australian is, he’s dragging his giant ball across the outback ground.

Greg Norman can be on the list if he ever makes a drink as awesome as an Arnold Palmer. Huge fan of his shirts though.

PS. Iggy Azalea is Australian…never knew that. That’s marketing 101. Don’t know how she slipped through the cracks and made it to her level of fame, but smart of Australia to not claim her as their own.

PPS. I spelled Australian wrong every time I typed it. How is there not an I before the L?

-Coach
@ApacheZack
@blog30tweets

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