Just Another Day in Rio: Body Washes Up Where Beach Volleyball Will Be Played


Via The Guardian: Parts of a mutilated body have washed up on the sands of Copacabana beach in Rio de Janeiro just meters from where beach volleyball athletes will compete in the upcoming Olympics. The discovery is the latest to unnerve the city as it grapples with rising crime, a recession and exhausted state finances at a time when it hoped to be celebrating the first Olympics ever held in South America. It was unclear Wednesday afternoon what conditions may have led to the mutilated body but a policeman standing guard by a security perimeter confirmed its existence to Reuters.

“At the copa, Copacabana! The hottest spot north of Havana. At the copa, Copacabana! Music and passion were always the fashion. At the copa they fell in love!” When it rains it pours, am I right Rio? If it’s not police officers and fireman holding up “Welcome to Hell” signs at the airport, or ZIKA ridden mosquitoes turning everyone into mutants, then it’s mutilated bodies washing up on beaches where Olympic Volleyball matches are going to be played in a couple weeks. You expect the GOAT’s Misty May* and Kerri Walsh to bump, set, spike the competition into oblivion when there are rotting corpses bumping into their ankles? I think not. Serious question here, could the Rio Olympics actually be going any worse? I mean people were up in arms about Sochi in 2014 because all the toilets weren’t installed yet and there were a couple stray dogs. Rio is making Sochi look like the fucking Garden of Eden right now. What would it actually take for the IOC to move the Olympics somewhere else? Would Rio have to be struck by a meteor? I think maybe that would get the job done, possibly? Clearly anything less than that isn’t going to do the trick.

*Yeah I’m aware Misty retired and Kerri has some new partner now but I refuse to learn the name of another volleyball player.

-Mr. Jersey

Like us on Facebook


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s