Power Ranking the Creatures of the Sea

This isn’t the power ranking you asked for or the power ranking you thought you needed but its the power ranking you are going to get. I decided to update my list, yes I keep an updated list of the most powerful sea animals out there in the big beautiful ocean, after seeing this awesome video of some whales hunting a shark.

And don’t act like you’re too cool to think about all the sea creatures  out there. You know you have thought about them one way or another. Whether it be power ranking them, hesitating to jump off a boat, or just having a fleeting thought of a nearby shark while peeing in the ocean. Everyone has dealt with the idea of these creatures and I just thought it would be helpful to everyone to know the power rankings of these animals so let’s get into it. 

Honorable mentions:

Jelly Fish: Bad Motherfuckers that sting the shit out of everyone and everything in their way. However, it seems as though they are easily killed by the current of the sea and wash up on beaches fairly often. For that, they cannot be in the top 5.

Lobsters/Crabs: Pinchers that can slice off a toe, these guy are not to be messed with in the water. If they want to make the top 5 they need to learn how to crawl out of those cages they crawl into and stop getting caught/eaten by humans all the damn time.

Creepy Fish with a light coming out of their forehead and spiky teeth: Left off the list because to make this list you have to have range and these guys just hangout in the darkness of the sea. Haven’t seen them cruising just under the surface even once. Hard to have an intimidating presence when you are hiding 3000 leagues under the sea.

Top 5

5. Barracudas

 

These missiles of the sea are downright terrifying. The only reason they don’t have a worse reputation is because of the popular 90 game show, “Legends of the Hidden Temple.” The blue Barracudas were a fan favorite and were given a likable reputation. But anyone who has seen on in the flesh while snorkeling in the Caribbean like me will tell you those are not to be fucked with. The razor sharp teeth, the speed and the glaring eyes are what makes this fish #5 on the list. Also they are no afraid to go full Kamikaze while being reeled in.

 

4. Giant Squids

mic  news science mic japan

The just recently (officially) discover Giant Squid can grow up to 50′ long if not bigger. They are essentially whales with 8 arms to do what ever they want to their enemies. While all accounts of the creature seem to point towards it being a docile animal that kinda just cruises through life with no real care or purpose, this creature is grandfathered into the top 5 on the back of their ancestors. All of these stories about Krackens can’t all be completed made up. These ancient giant squids use to fuck shit up for sport. Whole ships broken in half by giant tentacles, entire crews pulled to Davey Jone’s Locker, and world wide fear of this creature are stories that are almost too crazy to be falsified. So although their spot in the top 5 are slipping…Giant Squids come in at #4

 

3. Sharks 

Head Like an Orange animals shark headlikeanorange seal

The most terrifying of the sea creatures according to humans of the 20th century, sharks are a force to reckoned with. Around for millions of years for a reason, this apex predator has the skills to put in at the top of this list and yet here they are at #3. Don’t get me wrong sharks make up about 90% of the fear of the sea but it is all hype. The most overrated animal on this list by a mile! Sharks are caught/killed at an alarming rate for them being the apex predator of the sea. You throw in some chum and boom you got 3 sharks int he area and probably already one on the hook. It may have taken me see that first video of the blog to realize it but brute force isn’t the only thing you need when you want to be the most powerful of all the sea creatures. Sharks #3 because of their small brains.

2. Dolphins

dolphins airbenders

While these little guys aren’t necessarily the most intimidating to humans you would be a fool to think these aqua Einsteins don’t belong at #2 on the list. The things they are capable of is simply amazing and we as humans probably haven’t seen 75% of what they are capable of. They work together as a pod and have their own language. They may be the best hunters of the sea and oh year they have echo location built in to their bodies! The best thing about dolphins are they are smart enough to know their surroundings the situations happening around them. There are tons of stories about dolphins protecting people from sharks and I have no doubt that if humans were creatures of the sea, Dolphins would be the equivalent of dogs. Dolphins #2!

surf surfing dolphin party wave rad

1. Orcas

orcas

These majestic animals are everything dolphins are but just stronger, faster, and smarter. They have their own language, family systems, and they also have echo location. They are The Apex Predator of the sea. They’ve even been known to hunt great white sharks and giant squids. Most people’s perception of these animals are that of Seaworld’s Shamu. But the true beauty of these creatures can only be seen in the wild. And no I don’t deduct points for them be captured and domesticated. Only a small number have actually been caught in the wild and if they are, it takes days and days to do so. Most have been caught only because they were protecting the others in their pod. Just remarkable animals that deserve nothing but respect from those in and out of the sea. Orcas coming in at #1 for so many reasons.

Here’s a youtube rabbit hole if you aren’t too cool to kill the last hour of your thursday with killer whale videos.

 

-Doc

@blog30tweets 

 

Blog Grade: a Home Run!time dinner seal orca

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