(via CNN) They say the first step to overcoming a problem is realizing you have one in the first place. If you asked me whether I’m addicted to my smartphone or whether I overuse it, I would say absolutely not. I pride myself on not keeping my devices (I have two of them!) in my bedroom while I sleep, and keeping them out of reach on the kitchen counter when I’m home with my kids. But, every time I walk into the kitchen, I find myself checking my email and Twitter feed. There’s almost a gravitational pull toward my BlackBerry and iPhone even when I know the chance that there is anything I need to see at that moment is next to zero. I feel that same pull the minute I wake up and make checking my devices one of the first things I do once I get out of bed.
Another bizarre list concocted by someone who claims to know what they are talking about but in reality they are dead wrong. So while I don’t get joy out of writing these blogs, I know these internet authors cannot be allowed to get away with this bullshit. So here go:
- When you check your phone to see the current temperature instead of opening a window, and/or when you check your phone to see the current time instead of looking at the watch that’s right on your wrist.
What?! Open a window?! Get the fuck out of here. Are you serious? No one can tell the exact temperature by opening a window. Standing in a controlled environment and letting a breeze in through a window will not make you a fucking meteorologist. Not to mention how much effort that takes. Standing up, walking over to the window, feeling the air and guessing the temperature. That’s so dumb. Smart phones are there to make us smarter and if you go over to the window to guess the current temperature you are a dumbass.
- When you have to consciously say to your spouse “Let’s put our phones away” while watching TV because it’s more common that they’re out than away.
I can relate to this one but mostly because my Roommate and I have very different taste in TV. I have to constantly tell her to watch right before Michael Scott makes an ass of himself because I know she is too buried in tweets and IG pics to get the comedic brilliance of the scene. I, too will be lost to the phone while watching one of her shows only to come up to make a snarky comment about how Chloe is fat and disgusting only to look up and see a bombshell formerly known as Chloe. Still doesn’t me we are addicted, just disinterested.
- If you are answering emails in a dimly lit reception area while waiting for your massage therapist to de-stress you, you may have a problem.
Money never sleeps, having email on your phone is a double edged sword. On one side you can keep up to date with your work’s happenings at all times, that way you aren’t the old lady in the office who is talking about what happened 2 weeks ago because she never checks her email. But the other side means you are expected to respond to certain emails regardless of if you are about to get a happy ending at a massage parlor or not.
- When your kids have to text you their carry-out orders because you’ve lost the ability to retain information that is not received on your phone.
I don’t have kids but the point is still ridiculous. Why would we put ourselves through trying to remember multiple take-out orders when we can just have it written out right in front of us? You’d rather risk getting the order wrong and having to deal with a hangry kid all night? No thanks. Also people in the 90’s wrote notes about their take-out orders, so get out of here trying to make us feel bad about having shitty memories.
- When you hope you hit a bunch of red lights on the way home so you can comment on a Facebook post.
Hey lady no one uses Facebook anymore (Blog:30’s FB)! Well old people do but I don’t imagine that’s the reason they are driving like an idiot. However, if something of importance is happening, I’m checking my twitter regardless of where I am or what I’m doing. During the Boston Marathon Bombers manhunt, I remember I was driving around for some reason and the whole time I was following the ordeal on twitter. Sorry I just wanted some justice brought for Americans. If that makes me addicted, well so be it.
- When one of your daughter’s first drawings of you has a BlackBerry in your hand.
Again don’t have kids but based off of the kid’s first drawings images I just found on Google,
no kid has the motor skills to draw you with a blackberry. So while I’m sure your mommy and me peers loved this one, its complete bullshit and you can kindly leave.
- When you wake up, you grab your phone and check it before you get up to pee.
How else are you going to know what time it is? If I wake up and have to pee but I still have an hour or so until my alarm goes off, guess what I’m holding it and milking this last hour of sleep. Again, this doesn’t make me addicted, it helps me get my full 8 hours…thus making me healthier, smarter and refreshed everyday. Smartphones doing the damn thing, per usual.
- When you drop a phone on your face because you’re dozing off.
I don’t see this as a sign of addiction but more like a sign of natural selection trying to take place. If you are holding your phone above your face while falling asleep, you kind of deserve a broken nose/concussion (have you seen how big these smart phones are getting?). You have to lay on your side and check your phone. That way when if you fall asleep, when you wake up your phone will still be in your hand ready to check the time/temperature/ etc.
- When you choose your clothing based on the best pockets to hold your phone.
I don’t understand the thought process that goes on inside one’s head when they chose to wear clothes without pockets. Where do you put your things?! How do you do the 3 tap check? I don’t get it. Pockets are possibly the greatest invention ever, just behind smart phones, why would you even own an outfit without pockets?
- When you are staring at photos you took on your phone while the actual moment is taking place right in front of you.
This is the only one I might see a connection to addiction but if it wasn’t smartphones it would be digital cameras. I think this is just the product of social media, not smart phones. People are too obsessed with bragging showing their friends what they are doing and making it look like they are in a commercial or something. So everyone has to get the perfect picture every time. Ask any photographer, the first picture is rarely ever the best picture so you need to keep trying. Again this is more on social media/mass media than smartphones.
There you have it another list completely dismantled by Blog:30. Shame on the author for thinking she could get such a ridiculous list by us, not on my watch lady!