I hope by this point everyone knows about Craig Mazin. If you don’t, he was Ted Cruz’s college roommate and throughout the campaign has been attempting to educated America on just how big of an asshole Cruz really is. You catch up some of his greatest hits here. Craig landed another killer shot on Cruz just a couple days ago but I need to fill in some backstory.
So back in 2007 when Teddy was the Solicitor General of Texas there was a big “free speech” battle going. What did that battle center around? You guessed it, the right to sell and own dildos (and all other sex toys). Believe it or not but Ted landed on this side of the argument that wanted people who sold sex toys arrested. He and his legal team even dropped this gem of a quote in one of their briefs,
“There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals,”.
You read that right, Ted Cruz wants to arrest you for touching yourself. Not in my America Ted! Thankfully this is where Craig comes into drop knowledge bombs all over the place:
BOOM! Take that Ted you masturbatory hypocrite! I think we all owe Craig a follow and a thank you for all the great work he’s done this election season. If nothing else he has helped remind us that just because Ted Cruz might not seem as crazy as Donald Trump, it doesn’t mean he’s not fucking crazy.