We Really Doing Spiderman Again?

Dead Spiderman
The next Spider-Man movie has a title — it’ll be called Spider-Man: Homecoming, Sony Pictures chairman Tom Rothman confirmed last night. Speaking on stage at CinemaCon in Las Vegas, Rothman said the title was designed to reference its high-school-aged star, but also to show that “Peter (Parker) is trying to find his way home.” A new slice of footage shown on stage featured the teenage Parker literally coming home to find his Aunt May — played by Marisa Tomei — speaking with Tony Stark, a combination possible since Sony and Marvel made a deal to allow Spidey into the comic company’s current cinematic universe.

Read More from the Verge Here

Kill me. Kill me now. I can’t live on this planet anymore if we continue to give THE LAMEST SUPERHERO IN THE WORLD MULTIPLE SHOTS AT THE BIG SCREEN. Spiderman sucks. HE SUCKS. He sucked the first go around, he sucked the second go around, and now he’s getting another shot? I just don’t get it.

To be perfectly honest, almost ALL superhero movies suck. They are as predictable as they come. Good guy gets superpowers or super rich, has some morale dilemma’s about himself or herself, saves the world in the end. I just described every major blockbuster for the last decade and a half. Spiderman is the worst of them all. 

I’m going to go on record here and say that there are only two superhero franchises that have been worth the hype: Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Triology, and Deadpool. The first Ironman was awesome, but then they took him out back, put him in a blender, and made us unknowingly swallow the remains like a Bill Cosby Cocktail. The first 3 X-men were also pretty sweet, but now I’ve lost count of how many spin offs and sequel/prequel/requels they have made of that franchise. That’s it. Captain America is a tool. Superman has never been done correctly. The Avengers are just money grabbing movies that are the apple products of the silver screen; tweak a few things and resell as quickly as possible. I heard Chris Pratt killed in the Guardians of the Galaxy, but I’m too exhausted from superhero movies to even consider watching it for another 3 years.

I can’t hate, money is money and these movies make a ton of it. Between ticket sales, merchandise, rides at Universal Studios, the fat cats at DC, Marvel, and their respective studios are Scrooge McDuckin’ it. But I have to agree with WIlliam Friedkin, superhero movies are ruining movies. (I refuse to say cinema, cause the only thing more douchey than Ironman, is calling the movies cinema.)

Read More about William Friedkin’s Awesome Opinion Here

-Coach
@blog30tweets
@ApacheZack

 

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