What’s Up Doc: Two Girls, One Bar

dr in

What’s Up Doc,
I’m in a unique situation that I’ve never been in in my life. I’m currently causally dating two girls.  One of them, let’s call her “Shelby,” I’m very open with so she knows I’m seeing the other girl, lets call her, “Melissa.” Melissa is not as privy to the situation. I like both girls equally but I feel like Melissa has become suspicious. Either that or she just coincidentally keeps suggesting we go to the bar where Shelby works. Shelby is aware of Melissa so I don’t think this will be an issue but I just don’t know. Do I go to the bar and hope for the best or do I refuse to go and give Melissa another reason to be suspicious?   
Paranoid Sex Haver

Dear Paranoid,

Ah the ‘ol balancing act of having two “relationships” at once. There’s simply nothing like it. Every guy thinks he can pull it off and every guy has it blow up in his face one way or the other. Luckily for you it seems like it is more of a casual thing, making it a slightly less risky situation. But let me be clear here, Paranoid, tread lightly.

Shelby seems like she is falling into that “chill girl” category but as Mr. Jersey so elegantly refutes, there really is no such thing. Girls may act chill on the outside but are actually losing their damn minds on the inside. So while I think you are living up to your namesake in many ways, you are also on the right track by handling this delicately. Because trust me, Shelby may seem cool about the whole situation, but she does indeed have a breaking point and I would be willing to wager that her seeing you on a date with Melissa is where things may blow up. I mean you wouldn’t put a wounded gazelle in front of a Lioness and not expect her to eat it right? Instincts trump everything, its just nature, so  why would you assume this girl would be cool with you bringing another girl to her place of employment?  Never having the girls in the same location at the same time is a very simple and basic concept of dating two girls at once. So let’s use our heads here, okay?

As for Melissa’s suspiciousness… I’m thinking that sense of suspiciousness is more of a result of your guilty conciseness rather than her actual distrust. I took a psych class in college so I’m essentially an expert, and I’m seeing a text book example of paranoia brought on by self-guilt. But don’t worry you can push through that, it might fuck with your morals or whatever but glory ain’t cheap.

The solution to this bar situation is fairly simple, unless you live in Bumfuck, Whoville with one bar in town, just go to another bar. Make up an excuse or story as to why you can never go back to the bar that Shelby works at and move on. I know I have a handful of bars I will never step foot in again for one reason or another. That just comes with the territory of binge drinking. I have to imagine Melissa would understand being an drinker herself. Bonus points if you can make her laugh with the story as to why you can never go back to that bar. I mean you are already lying to her, might as well make her laugh as you do it.

Paranoid, I like you man, I don’t know why but I do. I really hope this works out for you, it probably won’t, but I hope it does. You just need to fight through the paranoia, find another bar to take girls to and, for the love of god, keep the two girls away from each other!

Happy fucking,



Ps. Boring advice: Pick one girl and drop the other one. Sooner rather than later too.




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