What’s up Doc,
Should I leave a guy whom I’ve been in a committed relationship with for over a year because he doesn’t seem to like me the way I am? – Confused in a Long Term Relationship
I have two theories of what is going on and I’m pretty sure I know which one is correct but you won’t like it and you won’t be able to stop it from happening, so I’ll bring that up last. Let’s start with the theory where you could possibly take steps to improve what is happening.
Theory 1: You have gone full long term relationship mode. Have you stopped wearing 2lbs of make up everyday? Have you started eating just as much if not more then your BF? Have you started wearing yoga pants for days at a time? Have you stopped going to the gym? Have you stopped showering regularly before seeing your BF? Have you stopped doing anything that you usually did for him in the first 6-8 months of the relationship? If you answered yes to 2 or more of these questions, then you shouldn’t blame him for not liking “the way you are.” Girls trick guys with an endless number of appearance enhancing methods. So when you show your real
face self, don’t be surprised when a guy loses interest. I mean he signed up for the sundress wearing, gym going, made up version of yourself that you managed to pull off for first 6-8 months of the relation ship. He committed to that version of yourself, not this “real” version. Maybe get back to some of those basics that the guy fell for in the beginning.
Theory 2 (most likely happening): He wants to break-up but doesn’t have the
balls to pull the trigger heart to hurt you like that. Guys suck at breaking up with people. So we often put ourselves through hell sticking it out just to avoid that 2-12 hour long break up conversation. Your BF here has implemented the oft-used strategy of hating everything about you, hoping you will notice and break up with him instead. It’s a classic male tendency to try to force a break-up rather then doing it like a man. “Like a man” makes me laugh because most men use this tactic to break-up with people rather then being straight up about it. So I guess he is breaking up with you like a man…
Either way seems like you may have some work to do, so good luck,
Ps. Have you seen Coach?