Snuff’d Torches: Recapping ‘Signed, Sealed, and Delivered

survivor-koah-rong

Spoilers ahead!

Man…what a bummer. What. A. Bummer. I’ve watched well over a hundred hours of Survivor in my lifetime, but never have I seen anything quite as dramatic as last night’s Wednesday’s nights events. Brutal. As always, below is the recap, the power rankings, and next week’s prediction.

  • Let’s just jump right into what is the most memorable reward challenge of the season. (It’s the only one so far…it did not go well.) This was a pretty standard Survivor challenge, but the blistery heat was too much and we almost lost 3 players due to heat exhaustion. First, Deb took a dive but because she’s so smart she was able to self diagnose her stroke on her way to the ground. Then, a cool hour later, Caleb and the Beauty tribe finally finished and came in second place. Which..gasp…was for a jar of freaking salt. Then all hell fire broke loose, Caleb went down, Cydnee went down, Jeff yelled “Get me the choppa!” which despite it being a very serious incident, was laugh out loud funny. I only giggled because I assumed that if Caleb was going to die, they wouldn’t show it on primetime CBS and I would have heard about this news way before the episode aired. Huge bummer for Caleb, I think he had a real shot at winning this thing.
  • Side note: myself and a small group of loyal Survivor fans/friends do a pool and pick random players in a snake draft order before every season. Each person got three players this season, one from each tribe, guess who I got? Real fun three weeks for me.
  • A little follow up, they were digging in sand in temperature that felt like 118 degrees for over an hour in that challenge. Obviously a little dehydrated just from LIVING in those kind of conditions, let alone competing their ass off for some coffee (worst challenge prize ever in hindsight.)
  • The episode actually BEGAN with Peter returning to tribal acting like a little bitch. He thought he was all big and bad and then poof, we see this little insecure nerd who I immediately wanted to stuff in a locker. Could be playing it up, could have been a little humbled, but I think he’s rattled.
  • Then, the rest of the episode pretty much was an awkward back and forth between who I am going to call “The Cave Men” aka Scot Pollard and Jason Kyle/Kyle Jason (whichever is right) and Alecia, the person most likely to not get a job as a motivational speaker after the show. I know I should probably pick a side for the sake of arguing who was more right in these altercations, and my heart wants to side with Alecia because I know what she’s trying to say…she just doesn’t do a good enough job doing it. She was trying to be the leader and appear strong…but it lacked, oh what’t the words, leadership and strength. They were very blatant and harsh with her, which was good slapstick comedy right after an intense Survivor moment. The fact that Alecia continued to stay even though they wanted to vote her out then and there was admirable, but in the end the right person from the Brawn tribe finally went home.

Group

Power Rankings

1.

By God, these girls have done it! As you saw in the previews for next week, we’re dropping buffs! This untested all girls alliance never lost a challenge or went to tribal, and we’re still able (with a stroke of luck) to get ride of the toughest physical competitor on their tribe. The Beauties, like in life, lucked into their good looks and lucked into a functional tribe.

2.Tai
Right behind Caleb’s Angels is Tai, the newest favorite. Seriously, you don’t have a heart if you didn’t feel for Tai when they medovac’d Caleb. He still has the hidden immunity idol, and is now a free agent that can’t get picked off. Since I don’t have anyone in my pool to root for, I’m all in on Team Tai.

3.Kyle
He’s here because he has the immunity idol and has at least 2 people he can seemingly trust. I have a theory that I’ll explain closer to the finale, but I firmly believe it takes 3 people to win Survivor. The Brawn Tribe now has the 3 people, and the Beauty tribe has the 3 girls. I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

4. Debbie

I’m still impressed by Debbie’s coup last week, and the fact that she survived the first heat stroke of the episode. She’s crazy, she’s erratic, but so far shes been more beneficial to the show than harmful. I sort of like her for now. Emphasis on the for now.

5. Joey Camps
So at the beginning of the season, I laughed in Doc’s virtual face when he drafted Joey Camps. I said “In a season with pre-known medovacs due to extreme heat, you picked the oldest guy ever.” Not only has he not passed out yet, but he also continues to work on his abs. Joey Camps. All Day.

Prediction for Next Week

It’s hard to predict who will go home when the only thing we know is that Buffs are going to drop. So you got to pick a putz. A strong competitor with not a lot of friends. Which is why I’ll say that if his tribe loses

Peter

Ol’ Pete will be on the chopping block. (On a literal hot streak right now, I called Caleb being the one to bounce on last weeks recap.)

-Coach
@blog30tweets
@ApacheZack

 

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