Stephen King is Scared of Ted Cruz as he should be

Ted Cruz

Stephen King has made a career out of horror, giving chills to the millions who’ve read his books and watched the films and TV shows based on his stories. But there’s someone who scares even him: Ted Cruz, the Republican senator from Texas who’s running for president.

“He’s very scary,” King told The Daily Beast in an interview to promote “11.22.63,” the Hulu series based on his 2011 novel.

When asked about Donald Trump, King said the GOP frontrunner left him “speechless.”

“At this point, he’s said 40 different things that would have gotten him laughed out of the race if he wasn’t so outrageous,” King said.

But King saved his harshest words for Cruz:

I actually think Trump, in the end, would be more electable than Cruz because Cruz is a fundamentalist Christian and it would almost be like electing the analog of an Imam — someone whose first guiding principle would be the scripture, rather than the Constitution. But I don’t think he could get elected. And, even if he was able to govern without blowing up the world, could we look at a guy who resembles a cable game show host for four years? He has that awful plastered-down hair and everything.

via Huffington Post

Not a good look. Not a good look at all. On one hand, you have Donald Trump, who I have to assume at this point is just the world’s most successful troll. I view Trump’s entire campaign as satire, a mockery, a mirror held up directly to our political leaders to let them know that we have an outdated, bloated, and ineffective government. Sure, I can’t plow or build my own roads, so the Gov’t has that going for them, but that’s more of a state level organization anyway. Seriously, when’s the last time you heard that a law was passed without the story really being how many hurdles it had to go through?

Anyway. Donald Trump is scary not because he looks scary, but because he’s essentially O’Doyling his way to the White House (or at the very least, the GOP Nomination.) Just verbally retweeting that other candidates are pussies and that Mexicans suck.* Trump Rules. People fall for confidence all the time. You can ask several a couple girls that hooked up with me in college, fake confidence is still confidence if the person you’re trying to convince buys it.

On the other hand, we have Ted Cruz, who terrifies one of the world’s most scary minds enough to say that TRUMP ISN’T AS SCARY AS YOU. Stephen King thinks Ted Cruz is terrifying, and it almost has nothing to do with how plastered and fake his head is. Ted Cruz scares Stephen King because of his thoughts. The guy who conjured up this son of a bitch:

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is scared of what’s going on in your brain. Without a doubt, no questions, that makes you the scariest person alive.

-Coach
@blog30tweets
@ApacheZack

*the fact that this sentence is not a “hot take” or paraphrasing but a real thing that happened based on facts in an actual US Presidential Election Race is amazing. I can see the captions in the History textbooks in 2060. “Presidential hopeful Donald Trump (pictured above) at his rally in which he called other candidate ‘a pussy'”

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