What a Slow Internet Week.


You would think with Superbowl media coverage, the Iowa Caucus, the SAG awards just happening, the trade deadline for the NBA…that the Internet would be a buzzin’. Well, it ain’t! It simply ain’t! Ain’t nothin going on in them there Internets. We’re in a weird time. No big news stories are breaking right now. None. Zilch. Nada. Notta thing that I have deemed blogworthy. So here’s a list of my top 5 favorite sounds. How do you like them apples?

5. The Crack of a Homer

That “smack” sound as the bat makes contact is so damn satisfying. Pair that with legend of the booth Hawk Harrelson, and that makes this little youtube video almost perfection.

4. Strike in Bowling

The initial thud of the bowling ball after it is released, the build up smooth rolling, followed by an explosion like fireworks. Bowling is a really intense Michael Bay movie rolled up into another sequence of perfection.

3. Sinking a Putt

Just listen to how amazing that sounded. Go ahead. Give it a few more clicks. This sound is a symbol of one man navigating acres of fumigated land to get a small ball inside of a small hole. That cup-drop sound is the best. It symbolizing completion of a man conquering the outdoors. It also means they get to hop in the golf cart, down a couple more beers, and do it all again on the next hole.

2. Epic Ping Pong matches

Maybe it’s because I met all my friends in a dirty garage/basement/bedroom and this is what we did for countless hours on end until we realized booze existed, but something about a ping pong going back and forth really relaxes me and makes me smile. It’s like the jazz of dad sports. A little showmanship, a little pizazz, a little improvising, but it all makes one beautiful back and forth.

1. Stirring Mac n’ Cheese

Move over Beethoven, I got a new favorite composer. His name is Velveeta, and he does it all with a spoon, some noodles, and some cheese. There is something so oddly disturbing and intriguing about stirring some mac and cheese. It’s not pleasant, but you can’t take your ears away. It gives me goosebumps. It’s the GOAT of sounds. Suck it, paleo dieters! You don’t get to enjoy this sound.



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